Quinn had her first birthday and it was, as expected, a bittersweet realization. My tiny little baby isn't so tiny anymore. She growing and exploring and my days of cuddling my own little infant are done. Thankfully, she still likes to cuddle, but it's different now.
We also had our ward Christmas party last night and I kind of lost it in the middle, I'm ashamed to say. All these emotions came flooding in, remembering last year's party, remembering friends, Maricopa, what life was like a year ago, what I pictured my year was going to be like with Quinn and all the other expectations that come with reflections at the end of a year.
We really do have a great ward here but I'm still mourning the loss of what things used to be like I suppose.
Today was slightly better and I just have to constantly remind myself that everything happens for a reason and our trials in life are given to us not only because our Father in Heaven knows we can handle them but because there are lessons we must learn.
Relief Society today was on The Final Judgment and we will be judged on our actions and what is in our heart and I found it comforting to know that despite all the hurt that we've gone through this year, that our Heavenly Father knows our hearts and knows how hard we have tried despite falling short along the way.
A new year means a chance to make new goals, make new friends, go back to school, watch my baby start to walk, my 5 year old start to read, and my 8 year old learn to sew and I am determined to find the most joy in those things that I possibly can and to have the patience it takes to help these beautiful spirits conquer these small but important steps on their way to bigger and better things.
