Beginnings and Endings

Been a rough few days for me and for a lot of reasons I think.

Quinn had her first birthday and it was, as expected, a bittersweet realization.  My tiny little baby isn't so tiny anymore.  She growing and exploring and my days of cuddling my own little infant are done.  Thankfully, she still likes to cuddle, but it's different now.

We also had our ward Christmas party last night and I kind of lost it in the middle, I'm ashamed to say.  All these emotions came flooding in, remembering last year's party, remembering friends, Maricopa, what life was like a year ago, what I pictured my year was going to be like with Quinn and all the other expectations that come with reflections at the end of a year.

We really do have a great ward here but I'm still mourning the loss of what things used to be like I suppose.

Today was slightly better and I just have to constantly remind myself that everything happens for a reason and our trials in life are given to us not only because our Father in Heaven knows we can handle them but because there are lessons we must learn.

Relief Society today was on The Final Judgment and we will be judged on our actions and what is in our heart and I found it comforting to know that despite all the hurt that we've gone through this year, that our Heavenly Father knows our hearts and knows how hard we have tried despite falling short along the way.

A new year means a chance to make new goals, make new friends, go back to school, watch my baby start to walk, my 5 year old start to read, and my 8 year old learn to sew and I am determined to find the most joy in those things that I possibly can and to have the patience it takes to help these beautiful spirits conquer these small but important steps on their way to bigger and better things.

Tears

Actual tears.  I'm crying about weaning a baby.  Stupid.  I'm not ready.  I think my body is though.  I'm taking 9 fenugreek pills a day just to be able to nurse her twice a day?  She's 11 months and I should be proud of that accomplishment but sometimes this little part of me stamps her foot down and pouts and wants to scream "WHY CAN'T ANYTHING GO THE WAY I WANT IT TO GO!"

That doesn't mean that everything that happens is bad, it just means sometimes I want things to go the way I WANT them to go!  I wanted to make it to two years (yes, I'm sure some of you will be thinking gross, I don't care, breastfeeding is good.)

On a bright note, I finished project #2.  Headband made out of the sleeve of a t-shirt and some knit fabric scraps.

Goal time

I've decided that I'm going to make a goal of using all of my fabric stash by Christmas.  I'm banning myself from purchasing more in order to obtain this goal.  The only exception will be thread, elastic, etc.  NO FABRIC!  I have a decent stash of quilting cottons, several yards of knits, solid and print, some chiffon's and satins and lots of lace.

Should be interesting.  I would apologize in advance if you end up with a homemade Christmas gift, but I would be lying, mwahaha.

Project #1 is a quilt square for a Bai Jia Bei (100 good wishes quilt) for a dear friend hoping to adopt in the near future.  Pictures will follow each project.  And most will be for my girls of course.

Pictures

Priorities

Little Miss is growing just great!

At 10 months:
your child is 17.94 pounds, and that is
at the 17th percentile for weight.

She's on her hands and knees crawling now instead of the army crawl and is still getting the hang of cruising furniture.  She has had a few bumps on the coffee table but nothing to dampen her spirits.

The girls are still loving their new school and our new neighborhood and ward.  Ainsley's best friend across the street is unfortunately moving soon though.  It's been so great having a little friend so close so she will definitely be sad when they leave.

Caelan had her first over night sleepover with Grandma Patty and held up like a champ!  She was so proud of herself for staying all night long.

The new house is still coming along.  I feel like I haven't had the time to get it all put together but slow and steady wins the race right?

I'm anxious for the cooler weather, even more so since the AC in my car is acting up.  I figured I can put off fixing it until March as long as I can make it through the next few weeks.

The 'rents are thinking of ditching Christmas and spending the weekend at a friend's cabin instead.  The big kids could ski/snowboard, kids could go sledding.  I think it would be fun for sure.  I think it would make a memorable holiday for all of them/us.

I feel like there's more to update but of course, it's time to work.  So I'll get some pictures up real quick instead :)

Joy

Quinn is sick.  After I got approximately 3 hours of sleep last night, I was up at 5.  I finished worked, made breakfast hahs for the fam.  I got kids to school by 7:15.  Came home and played with sick but somewhat happy baby until 8:30.  We both laid down for a nap for a couple hours.  Quick visit to my sick mama to say hello.  Back home, made myself some leftover hash for lunch, worked for an hour.  Picked up kids at 2:35.  Got home by about 3 (after thinking my car was going to break down because it was emitting a horrible smell).  I worked for another 30 minutes while the girls kept themselves entertained.  Neighbor girl invited them over for an hour while dinner cooked (whole wheat calzone with prosciutto and pesto, DELISH) while Quinn napped again.

Girls got home and begged to go to hobby lobby because Ainsley wanted to make a princess mirror she saw online (sure, why not right?)  So I told them they could go if they cleaned the family room.  They obliged, spiffed up the family room, ate a quick slice of calzone and off we went to Hobby Lobby.

Kids behaved, chose their crafting supplies, I grabbed me a treat on the way home and now we're back, kids are in bed, Quinny is asleep, I'm almost done with work and it's only 8pm.

The kitchen didn't get cleaned and the laundry didn't get done but no one got yelled at, my beauties are happy (even the sick one) and I'm calling today a success.

Oh, and Jim is working late, but I saved him a big fat slice of dinner :)

Rolls

At 9 months:
your child is 17.2 pounds, and that is
at the 16th percentile for weight.
your child is 26 inches, and that is
at the 5th percentile for height.

Oldie

That header picture is getting old.  Time for a new one!  I don't have one yet, but you know, time for one.  I should work on that.

Oh, the joy that is full day school!  I can't even begin to describe how awesome it is.  Just me and Quinn, all day long.  Absolutely heaven!  I realized something though after a couple days, Quinn has no toys.  I think I took for granted how entertained they kept her all day long because she gets a little restless.  Thankfully someone donated some Peek-A-Blocks to the cause and she LOVES them!  Hooray for baby toys!

We are getting ready for Miss Ainsley's baptism.  She got to sit down and talk with Sister Boice today all about and about starting Activity Days.  I think I'm still full of those prego hormones because between Ainsley turning 8 and Caelan starting kindergarten, I feel like my emotions are a bit fragile.  I did NOT use to be this sappy!  Oh the horror!

Jim, as many of you know, found himself in need of employment.  The change is frustrating and the domino effect it has on our budget, our life, our family dynamic, but I'm trying to give myself credit and say that we're adjusting to it...well some of it.  The tighter budget is hard for me, but you know, I'm trying!

Caelan loves kindergarten and Ainsley loves 3rd grade.  Caelan already has a new friend.  Her name is Sedona and they hold hands and hug all day long, LOVE it!  Ainsley is adjusting well and her teacher is a good fit for her and her emotional nature.

Quinny the Pooh, well she's finally getting some chub on her (yay!) and she's a "real" baby now.  She's scooting around like crazy, can do a full split (no joke, I need to get a picture of it, just chills in the splits), and LOVES food.  Caelan and Ainsley were both still very much dependent on a boob/bottle still at this age, and she definitely likes herself some booby but her eyes light up when I come at her with a bowl of food!  She was a little iffy about some of the veggies at first but now will eat pretty much anything.  Her favorite is vanilla yogurt.  I still mix everything with rice because she's not so sure about the stronger flavors but I'm glad she's versatile with the veggie thing.

Miss Jordy is turning 16(!!!) next week.  I can hardly believe how grown up she's becoming.  Now to get that girl a driver's license!

Off to ponder guiltily about why I don't take more picture.

Sup, Fatty?

Check it out!  Finally getting some meat on her bones!!!!


At 8 months:
your child is 16.1 pounds, and that is
at the 12th percentile for weight.
your child is 26 inches, and that is
at the 12th percentile for height.

And lots to blog, will hopefully have more time now :)

For the record

your child is 14.6875 pounds, and that is
at the 7th percentile for weight.
your child is 26 inches, and that is
at the 26th percentile for height.

Hunter!

I get to have my Hanna tomorrow!  I'm so beyond excited to see her and the kids. 

Quinny had bananas mixed with a little cereal this morning and liked it even better than the first time.  Maybe the solid foods will put some meat on her bones.

Nana is in the hospital again with a second stroke so prayers would be appreciated.  Jonathan said kids aren't a good idea so Jim is going to see her today I think while he is in town.

It's good to be home but my stupid mattress is already killing my back.  A new mattress is not in the cards right now so I don't know what to do :(

Taking kiddos to the doctor tomorrow and then it's party time for all the Hunter kids.  Guthrie, Sullivan and Penelope joint birthday party.  Bring on the cake!

Solid as a Rock

Quinny got her first official solid food today and seemed to like and definitely did better at eating it than her bigger sisters did at this age. 

I can't believe she is six months old already!  This year is flying by and I do NOT approve!

Just got back from our annual Utah trip and had a ton of fun.  I will update on all we accomplished.

Back to the heat and I HATE it but I'm so happy to be home and we missed our daddy lots and lots.

Seriously???

At 5 months:
your child is 12.875 pounds, and that is
at the 7th percentile for weight.

We met with the doctor too and he said she was fine.  Gaining slowly but still gaining.  I think this makes her my smallest so far.  I like her being so small but I also feel like chubbier babies are healthier ones?  Not sure on that.

She's sick again too.  Fun stuff.  Just a little cold but still frustrating.

And she's teething.  More fun stuff.

Feeling less than functional lately.  Gonna try to pull out of it and get some sorta spring cleaning done.  Feeling the need to wash baseboards, dust fans, and clean air filters...go figure.

Pictures!!!! Win!!!!

Jack Handy

I had a profound thought to share today.  I changed my mind.  This blog needs some pictures.  Tomorrow's goal:  new pictures!!!!

Stay tuned for some beautimous Mackey fabulousness!  They will be picturified!

Defining moments.

Jim and I were talking today and we both came to the same conclusion.  This year is going to be a defining year for us.  So much has happened to us already and it's only April, and there are a lot of changes on the horizon as well that are "make or break" kind of changes.  Some might be bad, some might be good, it's all in the perspective I suppose.  Change is change and whether it's good or bad depends on what you do with it.

I'm trying to savor every moment of Quinn's babyhood too.  I don't want this first year of hers to be tainted with the bad memories.  I only want the good ones to shine through and I'm glad that I have time each day to just sit and love her and enjoy her smiles.

Inspiration

My beautiful little Ainsley is getting baptized this summer and I want to make her a special dress.  Everything just looks the same.  If you've seen any cute ideas for a baptism/communion dress, please share!

Mother's Love

Seeing the Easter Pageant after recently having a baby again put the whole thing in a completely different perspective.  As I watched the part where Mary sings about what her son will do someday but that tonight he was just her baby, I was sobbing (yes, pathetic). 

It made me sit back and think for a moment how I would have felt to be her.  Knowing that someday my child would have to go through the pain, suffering and sorrow that he would someday have to endure.  I kept looking at Quinn and was completely floored by not only the sacrifice of our Savior but of his mother.  What Heavenly Father had actually asked of her. 

This Easter I'm so incredibly grateful for the sacrifice of Jesus Christ but also of Mary.  She was stronger and more faithful than I can possibly imagine and made a sacrifice I can't even comprehend.

Quinny the Pooh

I took Quinny in for a weight check today and I seriously thought she was well over 13 pounds!  Totally wrong.

At 4 months:
your child is 12.375 pounds, and that is
at the 14th percentile for weight.
your child is 24 inches, and that is
at the 26th percentile for height.

When your baby suddenly wants to be held all day long, I guess it's a good thing she's small.  She seems like she chubbed way more than that.  Oh well.

Saving Grace

“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”-Audrey Hepburn

Mallory saw this in a magazine today and I loved it.

Friendship

Today I was thinking that just because someone doesn't NEED friends in their life, that doesn't mean there isn't someone out there who might need a friend.

Maybe a friend like me.

Life Lessons

“Lies and gossip which harm reputations are scattered about by the four winds like the seeds of a ripe dandelion held aloft by a child. Neither the seeds nor the gossip can ever be gathered in. The degree and extent of the harm done by the gossip is inestimable”

Spencer W. Kimball

On a somewhat brighter note...

My friend had this on her facebook status today

"Often the deep valleys of our present will be understood only by looking back on them from the mountains of our future experience. Often we can’t see the Lord’s hand in our lives until long after trials have passed. Often the most difficult times of our lives are essential building blocks that form the foundation of our character and pave the way to future opportunity, understanding, and happiness." Dieter Uchtdorf

Reminded me of being in seminary and learning to liken scriptures and doctrine to our current lives and current situations.

I may not understand what is to be gained from my present struggles but everything happens for a reason and the Lord will never give me more than I can handle.




Now, did I mention how much I love having a baby around again?  I can hardly believe I won't ever do this again because it's just bliss!  It helps that I'm incredibly blessed when it comes to babies, calm, happy, non-colic-y babies.  I'm in big trouble down the road when I have three teenage girls but for now, motherhood doesn't get any better than this!

Conversion

Ever since Jim joined the church he has always referred to one specific quote.  And I always loved it too.  I remember it hung on the wall of our neighbor's house when we lived in Idaho so whenever I would go over their I would see and stare at it.

I would certainly like to say I can always keep this in mind but I'll admit that it's hard right now.  I want to hold my head high and proclaim from the mountaintops that I'm strong enough to handle anything that comes my way, but that's now how I feel right now.

Right now I feel like crying...in a corner...in the fetal postion....with a carton of cookies and cream ice cream.

This year it looks like will be one of the hardest of my life...yep, one of the hardest.  Putting it out there.  I'm fighting every day to just live in the moment and enjoy the smell of a baby's head, the strange vocabulary of Caelan and the perma-smile of Ainsley but I'm struggling with that.

I'm aware of how blessed I am but I'm also reminded daily of what has been ripped away me, peace of mind and a the ability to believe in the goodness of human beings.

On that note, I may be going private again so if you weren't added last time be sure to let me know if you want an invite.  Even if you're just a lurker and want an invite, just let me know. 

Epiphany

I'm quite certain I do NOT want to be a Relief Society president, like EVER.

But I want to the be the kind of person that COULD be capable of that kind of calling.

I think I'm going to work on some goal setting this week.

Beautiful Babies

Coo Coo

I love baby talk! She doesn't smile a whole lot yet but she is just so stinkin' happy. She's so mellow. She reminds me a lot of Ainsley as a baby. She's just happy to be alive and what else matters?

I feel extremely blessed to have the three little girls that I have (and the fabulous Jorden). I had that epiphany yesterday. My children are amazing. They fight when I want them to be quiet, they giggle and tease when it's time to go to bed, they want ice cream at dinner time, but they are truly wonderful little girls.

Ainsley is the sweetest, happiest, most helpful little girl I could have asked for.

Caelan might not be as sweet or happy all the time, but the girl knows how to have fun for sure and she can ALWAYS make us laugh.

I'm not sure what Quinn has in store for us but being a blessing that came into this world when we didn't think we would venture into babyhood again, I'm sure she has a divine place and I can't wait to find out what it is and where she fits with the other beautiful spirits that live in this house.

Trials and Tribulations

Sometimes in life we are sent obstacles that have the potential to destroy us...and not only ourselves as individuals but our families, marriages, friendships and even our faith.

Sometimes in life these obstacles sent to destroy us can turn out to be a turning point. A pivotal moment that makes us question EVERYTHING, families, marriages, friendships and yes, even faith.

I was recently presented with one such obstacle, a moment, a split second where my life could take a turn that could define me for eternity. At that moment I heard my Heavenly Father whisper in my ear exactly what I would do with this moment and I will let it define me in a way that makes me proud to be a Child of God.

I'm very proud of my husband for the love that he has shown me and my children in the last few weeks as we figured out how to deal with a new way of living and thinking. He is vital to the well being of my family, both spiritually and physically and he surprised me with his strength and his ability to remain on the right path no matter how hard it will be for us.

I'm still at a loss most of the time as to how to be the best I need to be for my family and my children but I know that for now there are two things I know for certain.

1. My husband loves me and my children and only wants the best for us.

2. My Heavenly Father loves me and my children and only wants the best for us.

As long as I remember those two things, everything will be okay. No matter what happens today, tomorrow, or for the rest of our short time on this earth, we know who we are, we know what is true and so does Heavenly Father and really, nothing else matters.

Happy and healthy

After almost two weeks of sick, we are finally just about back to normal. Unfortunately Quinn caught it too and after we got results from the pediatrician that it was flu type A and that she wasn't eating too well, they sent us to the hospital where we spent two days with her on IV fluids and getting suctioned. They started her on Tamiflu and the doctor was confident that we caught it soon enough that it didn't move into her chest like it did with me and the girls. She is doing SO much better now and is eating like crazy again.

Ainsley and Caelan and I are still coughing things up a bit but at least not sick anymore. It was a NASTY bug for sure.

Time flies

Quinnie the Pooh is one month old today and I'm just baffled at how fast it happened! With regards to her, not much has changed over the last month except that she's getting bigger. She sleeps just okay at night. She has a little bit more awake time during the day though which is fun for the girls. I think she is getting ready to smile at us so that will be our next milestone.