Pictures

Anxiety

Getting closer and the anxiety is starting to hit me and all my previous operating room memories are flooding in. I think we have a better game plan this time for dealing with that but I can tell my body is reacting to the anxiety. I'm getting itching all over again to the point where I'm scratching and bruising myself (yeah, I'm a freak) and my blood pressure is going up too.

I'm going to take the last two weeks off of work before the baby comes so hopefully that will calm things down a little bit and I can just focus on my family and the holidays.

The pain seems to come and go still at this point. Last night was pretty bad but I loaded the dishwasher which I probably shouldn't have done (but I did anyway because it needed to be done, this is the battle I fight). I did manage grocery shopping with Jim but he made me sit in the stupid electric wheelchair. Thankfully I didn't see anyone I know. :)

I tried to cut some fabric for Quinn's baby blanket too so overall I know it was too much and I totally paid for it but at least I felt productive. Like I said it's a battle between my tolerance for pain and my emotional well being. The more time I spend in bed making my body happy, the more I feel anxious about needing to be up cleaning or sewing or taking care of the kids.

Jim really has been great and the ward has helped with a couple meals a week which has been a lifesaver but there's only so much Jim can do while also working. I can tell he's working hard at not being impatient with me though and I definitely appreciate it.

Upcoming things to look forward to:

Family pictures next Saturday, which probably will be just the girls because I'm not happy in front of a camera at the moment for obvious reasons.

Thanksgiving lunch with Ainsley's class next week.

Black Friday, which obviously I won't be able to partake in but my mom is going to try to snag some things I want/need, like a new computer monitor! So tired of the flickering while I work!

My darling niece Jenna's birthday party Saturday. Thankfully it's at their house and they don't mind me lying down in the middle of it, haha.

Ainsley lost another tooth a couple weeks ago and had an awesome report card.

Caelan has been a bit of a sickie lately but on the mend now. She started soccer and LOVES it.

ROLAIDS

Spells relief....but no, not from heartburn.



For almost a week now I have been pain free! (Well except for regular third trimester pregnancy aches). It has been absolutely heavenly. Who knew someone could be so happy to have the ability to do dishes again. I got out of the house today too. It was just to go to Verizon to get my phone replaced but it was still awesome.



Jim was in charge of the camera for Halloween and he epicly failed me on this one. I might have like three pictures, so hopefully I'll get those up later.

positive spin

Been avoiding blogging because once again, I'm a downer.

The positive side is that I'm healthy and so is the enormous baby Quinn but other than that it's kind of sucking. It looks like I'm headed back on bed rest to try to cope with the pain that so far no one can explain. Theory #1 was that it would pass within a week or so. 2 weeks later, the newest theory is that maybe the size of the baby is going to make it worse. All I know is that on good days I feel like I've been hit by a bus and on bad days I can hardly move without crying.

I'm tired and emotional. I'm not depressed per say but the inability to do ANYTHING is causing a certain amount of depression.

I'm trying to be grateful, I really am. I know that I'm blessed and I will be happy when all of this is over and she is here and healthy but for now I'm struggling.

I'm also having a really hard time accepting the help that I need. I think I reached my breaking point today though. If sucking it up, swallowing my pride and letting my friends be good friends means that I don't have to go to bed crying at night then I guess that's what I do.

Told ya, a downer.

Side note, baby is estimated 4 lb already. Yep, you read that right. 4 lb at 30 weeks. This could be my biggest baby yet.

What a week!

Mallory is married. Hanna came to visit and is already gone. I spent half the night in the hospital to have them tell me I overdid it and to lie down.

My girls are wonderful. My husband is wonderful.

I'm ready for this week off so I can lie in bed the ENTIRE time. So don't bug me. I'm not available for ANYTHING until next week.

But I love you all.

Ainsley

She lost another tooth, this is her 5th.

And....drumroll please......

She can ride her bike without training wheels! She probably could have done it sooner but she was too chicken to try :)

She taught herself even, just got on it and started riding. Go Ainsley!

Routine

Well school has started for Ainsley and preschool for Caelan. Piano started a week after that and Caelan's dance classes start this week.

Ainsley had a really bad asthma attack after PE yesterday so we took her back in and they've switched her from the machine to an inhaler including a rescue inhaler for school so hopefully that takes care of the problem because I don't want her to have to sit out.

Her reading is just amazing to me. I love that she loves to read. She reminds me of me when I was younger :). She has taken it on herself to read US bedtime stories instead of the other way around. Even KK lets her and thinks it's cool that big sister reads her stories instead of mom or dad.

Quinn is getting bigger and I'm still completely shocked at how much she moves at this size. I'm in BIG trouble when she gets bigger because she is relentless!

Jordie just had her 15th birthday but I haven't seen her since then because she had a party at her mom's house that weekend. Hopefully we'll get to give her her present this weekend.

Completely consumed with work, new schedules, baby bump and Mallory's wedding so things are definitely chaotic right now. I'm trying to let the girls do the things they want right now though because after Christmas we will have a massive slow down for a few months.

We decided that instead of having the baby in our room, we are going to enclose the loft upstairs and make another bedroom. With Jim taking the downstairs room for an office, it just seems like having another upstairs would make things a lot simpler. We use it for toy storage so I figure we'll just get creative and organized with the toys and make it all work out. Jorden will get to keep her own room and when the baby sleeps better we will move KK in there too and let Ains have her own room too.

Back to finishing work so I can go to bed and put my swollen feet up!